View single post by Kel
 Posted: Fri Feb 8th, 2019 09:40 am
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Kel

 

Joined: Thu Feb 7th, 2019
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 145
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G'day Rainy,

Nice to see another Aussie, makes it so much easier to read your accent!

Thanks for the tips, I've had a look at all of them:

They no longer light up your face - the key here isn't so much the syllable count, but the stressed syllables. It has the same number of stresses in the same place as in line 2, and fits well with the melody I hear.

Not sure when it's all goin' to end. - Agreed, thanks for the tip.

Don't tingle the spine to the core - I have changed this to :
Don't tingle the spine anymore - still the same syllable count but same point as in verse 1, the stressed syllables fit well.

No it don't feel as right, any more
It don't feel as right as it did.

These lines not rhyming is a very deliberate ploy to accentuate their importance, to highlight the hook, and is right out of Ralph Murphy's "Rules"! (I met Ralph a few years ago and what a wonderful guy he is!)

Thanks for taking a look. I haven't used all you offered but they had me taking a second look, and that has to be good.

Cheers
Kel.

PS Does Magesongs mean anything to you?



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Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what I do about it. Scipio Africanus
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