View single post by Kel
 Posted: Fri Feb 8th, 2019 05:16 am
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Joined: Thu Feb 7th, 2019
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 145
G'day M.P.,

I like what you've done here, but will offer two things to think about... Rather than having so many verses, I suggest cutting back to 3 with a bridge... AABA. It's a structure that works well, and is one of the most successful structures in songwriting (so say the coaches.)

Whether you change structure or not, I don't feel the final verse is as powerful as it needs to be. If you can have the verses prior to the bridge (if you use one) with an odd number of lines, have the final verse with an even number to make it feel complete. Having an odd number of lines leaves it feeling unfinished...

I know I said two, but also consider how long the song will be when put to music. Keep it to 3 minutes and change, and if that means trimming the number of lines, that's what will be needed.

My thoughts, for what they're worth.


Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% what I do about it. Scipio Africanus
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