|View single post by RainyDayMan|
|Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2019 09:39 pm||
|Got a soft and sentimental feel to it.
You might switch your first line to match the title:
When your beauty fades > When beauty fades
if you changed:
like a wilting flower > like a fading flower
the alliteration on the 'f' might work for you and back up the 'back to bloom' on the following line.
you hide your fears show no tears > you mask your fears, hide your tears
(that's probably just a personal preference)
but I really like that next line:
but you ain't fooling me
Nice! Very personal and warm