View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Wed Jan 2nd, 2019 09:39 pm
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RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 5823
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Got a soft and sentimental feel to it.

You might switch your first line to match the title:
When your beauty fades > When beauty fades

if you changed:
like a wilting flower > like a fading flower
the alliteration on the 'f' might work for you and back up the 'back to bloom' on the following line.

you hide your fears show no tears > you mask your fears, hide your tears
(that's probably just a personal preference)

but I really like that next line:
but you ain't fooling me
Nice! Very personal and warm



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