View single post by RainyDayMan
 Posted: Fri Oct 20th, 2017 09:36 pm
PMQuoteReplyFull Topic
RainyDayMan



Joined: Thu May 17th, 2007
Location: Stratford, Australia
Posts: 6237
Status: 
Offline
Nice! Good to see a happy song.

I like your rhyming scheme, but I would also consider using a bridge with a completely different pattern just to break it up a little in the middle and add variety.

I like these lines especially:
I'm all out of luck used it all up
when you said that you'd be mine

starts off like a negative, then turns it right around.



____________________
https://soundcloud.com/RainyDayMan/tracks
https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=708281
Close Window